Jackass: Hetalia
by ninjaJCR
Summary: Warning, the following stunts were performed by fictional country personifications, ninjaJCR strongly advises that you DO NOT imitate the stunts described in this fanfiction.
1. Help from the readers!

Sorry for the lack of updates, but college work is a big strain on my brain. Now I'm back with a new idea.

You know the show Jackass by Dickhouse Productions on MTV, which went on to the big screen. I was thinking why not have Jackass with Hetalia characters, it sounds like a great idea. Plus, I've done some searching around on and there are no Hetalia-Jackass fanfics. The only fanfics I found just had the word jackass in the title or the summary. (No, I'm not pointing out which fanfics they are)

But I'm very short on stunt ideas, you know, with college and everything. So here is my proposal. I want you, yes, YOU, to help come up with stunt ideas for me.

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Criteria:

1. The ideas must be rated from K-T, no M ratings, I don't want to gross out anyone so no disgusting details like defecation, exposed flesh, large amounts of blood, etc., pain is okay, and if I have to use swears I just censor them. (*BEEP*)

2. You can have any characters involved in the stunt, as long as they are not OOC, Prussia and America are great choices, since they are both _coughstupidcough_ **AWESOME** enough to try these stunts.

3. **DO NOT **post stunt ideas in the reviews, I do not want spoil anything, PM me instead and I'll get back to you when I'm available.

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That is everything you should know, good luck.


	2. Swedish Force Feeding

**Note: I am very, very, VERY sorry about this LONG delay, but I have been really busy with a lot of stuff. I managed to get some free time now and so far I only have one stunt request. I can tell that people aren't very interested. This is from a guy with the pen name ****And I'm Javert****, yes, that is an actual pen name.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or Jackass, at all; I don't have the money to buy either of them.**

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The scene opens with America inside a giant stars and stripes cannon, England is right below the mouth of the cannon with a facepalm.

"America!" England yelled, "This is absolutely stupid, I can't believe you're going to do this!"

America looked down to England with a smile on his face, "Don't worry about it, I figured we should start the series off with a bang! Get it?"

England took out a notebook and wrote down, 'Note to Self: Write America's Obituary later, make it as short as possible.'

"Hey Prussia," America yelled, "Ready to fire?"

Prussia is at the base of the cannon with a lit torch, ready to light the fuse. "*BEEP* yeah I am, give the word!"

America turned to the camera and yelled, "HI I'M AMERICA, WELCOME TO JACKASS: HETALIA!"

Prussia lights the fuse, both Prussia and England take cover with their hands covering their ears.

"BANG"

The cannon launches America into the air; he then crashes into a dumpster.

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The scene changes to Sweden and Norway with some rope in their hands, Finland is holding the camera with Iceland next to him.

"So Sweden," Finland asked nervously, "What are we doing today?"

Sweden stares at the camera, "We have a request from a guy by the pen name of 'And I'm Javert,' he writes: 'Have Sweden force Denmark to eat Surströmming.'"

"Surströmming?" Finland asked, "You mean that smelly rotten fish in a can?"

"Yes," Sweden started to explain, "for everyone who has never heard of Surströmming before, it is basically herrings caught between April and May, then put into a strong brine to draw the blood out. Then the heads and guts are removed and put into a weak brine solution in barrels for a few weeks. After that, they are put into cans where fermentation continues and the fish begins to produce a very bad odor. They have been banned by certain airlines because they are believed to be dangerous from how pressurized the cans are."

"Because of the horrible smell and taste, you only eat it out of national pride and not for the taste, right?" Iceland asked.

"That's right," Sweden replied, "It is a smell even I can't handle that well, traditionally it is served with on a thin bread called tunnbröd, with butter, potatoes, and onions, but since it was never specified in the request, I assume Denmark will be having the fish by itself."

"Shhh," Norway said, "Here he comes."

Denmark is seen approaching while Sweden and Norway is preparing to pounce on him with the rope. Once Denmark is in position, they attack him with the rope.

Half an hour later, the Nordics have Denmark tied up to a chair outside, other nations have joined them to see and smell what surströmming is really like.

"Thank you everyone for joining us," Sweden said with a can of surströmming in his hand, "we have to do this outside because it would be very bad to open the can indoors."

"Can you, like, get this over with already?" Poland asked, "I've got, like, lots of pink clothing to try out later."

"Okay, hi I'm Sweden, and this is Swedish Force Feeding."

Sweden puts the can on the ground and starts to open the can with a can opener; a putrid smell emerging from the can reaches the noses of every nation present. They are starting to get nauseous from the stink; every female nation practically fainted from one whiff of the smell.

"Germany!" Italy yelled, "I don't like the smell, I think I'm going to be sick!"

"Holy *BEEP* that is nasty," Romano yelled, "Why do you keep making this *BEEP* you bastard!"

"How do you Swedish people deal with this smell?" America asked, "This smells even worse than England's cooking."

"PLEASE," Denmark yelled, "I DON'T DESERVE THIS, PLEASE STOP!"

Sweden uses a fork to pick up a piece of the rotten fish and Norway is keeping Denmark's mouth open. When the fish is inside his mouth, Sweden and Norway forces Denmark's mouth to stay closed until he finally chews it and swallows it. There are tears coming out of Denmark's eyes after swallowing the fish and he looks like he wants to vomit.

"Okay, one more." Sweden said.

"No," Denmark begged tearfully, "Please stop, have mercy!"

After forcing one more piece of fish down Denmark's throat, Sweden and Norway untie him. Denmark instantly falls to his knees and vomits. A few nations started throw up themselves just from the sight.

"Well," Sweden said, " There are still some pieces of surströmming left in the can and I did bring some tunnbröd, butter, potatoes, and onions. So let us eat what's left the traditional way."

"Alright," America said, "I'll give it a shot, plus I'm hungry anyways. Denmark you want some?"

Denmark got up, wiping the vomit from his lips, stared at America with a mean look and flipped him off while saying, "*BEEP* you America!" Then he stomped away.

Everyone laughed.

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**Note: Well, that was a good start, don't you think, please review if your want to. Thanks again to ****And I'm Javert**** for the request.**


	3. Hong Kong's Fireworks Obstacle Course

**Note: Back from the dead people, sorry it took so long but it's very difficult to readjust to the time zone here after coming back from vacation. I received another stunt idea from ****Princess harvest**** and it is hilarious. First part of this chapter is not the request; it's my own idea.**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia and Jackass belong to their respective owners, and not me.**

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The scene opens with Prussia and America on a balcony of a hotel, each of them holding a bucket of very cold ice water. Italy is holding the camera.

"Ve, hey guys," Italy started, "What are we doing today?"

America spoke in a quiet voice, "Okay, a few days ago Russia sent me an email informing me that his sister Belarus along with Hungary were going to stay at this hotel. I just couldn't pass up the chance to pull a prank on them, I called Prussia to come join me and he came right over. Move the camera over the ledge."

Italy takes the camera over the ledge of the balcony and we see Hungary and Belarus nearby a pool, both of them sunbathing in bikinis. (As for what the bikinis look like, use your imaginations… perverts…)

Then Italy whispered, "Oh I get it now, you guys plan to pour those buckets of ice water over them." Italy pauses, and then speaks with a hint of fear in his voice, "Are you guys crazy, they'll _kill_ you both."

America replied, "Don't worry Italy, we'll just make a run for it after we laugh at them for a bit."

Prussia laughed, "Time to give that bitch Hungary the treatment she deserves."

America and Prussia positioned themselves right over the unsuspecting girls with Italy recording at an angle. Then they poured the buckets on them.

Hungary and Belarus both screamed from the sudden feeling of cold water on their bodies. They instantly reached for their towels nearby to warm themselves up. Then they heard two distinct laughs from the balcony above them. Looking up, they saw America and Prussia laughing and pointing at them while Italy was petrified with fear.

"Summer showers are very unpredictable, even cold ones, don't you think Prussia?" America yelled.

"Kesesesese, you're damn right they are America!" Prussia replied while giving America a high five. Then they both made a run for it while they are still laughing.

"I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS, PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" Italy screamed, fearing for his life.

Hungary and Belarus both stared at each other with serious looks on their faces.

"Prank War?" Hungary asked in an angry tone.

"Prank War." Belarus replied in an equally angry tone.

"Ve," Italy said while he is still recording, "This is not going to end well…"

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The scene changes to an open field in the middle of nowhere with a lot of fireworks set up on both sides pointed at a single path in the middle. We see Hong Kong at the beginning of the path finishing work on two fuses, each of them connected to one side of fireworks. China, South Korea, Prussia, America, and England are all at the start of the path wearing running clothes. Japan is also there in a ninja outfit armed with only snappers. Taiwan is holding the camera.

"So what's going on today?" Taiwan asked with a smile on her face.

Hong Kong stood up, finished with the fuses, and said, "We have a request from 'Princess harvest,' she wants me to light up these fireworks which are to be fired at these five here as they are running. Meanwhile, Japan here will chase after them with his ninja abilities to throw snappers at their feet, they are little fireworks that makes a spark and a sound when you throw one on the ground."

Taiwan moves to Japan, he is putting snappers in his outfit.

"Those fireworks can hurt you too you know." Taiwan said concerned.

"No need to worry," Japan replied, "I will evade all of them with my ninja reflexes."

Taiwan moves over to the five runners and asked, "How are you all feeling today?"

America and Prussia raised their fists in the air and said at the same time, "AWESOME! WE'LL CONQUER THIS NO PROBLEM!"

England was a bit annoyed, "I was forced to do this by him," pointing to Hong Kong.

"Both Hong Kong and South Korea forced me to come here aru," China said.

Then South Korea spoke up, "You might think that Princess harvest came up with this idea, but it was I who invented it, and I just gave the idea to her."

Taiwan replied sarcastically with an unimpressed look on her face, "Yeah, right…"

The runners are all lined up at the starting line. Japan is preparing to use his ninja abilities to evade oncoming fireworks. Taiwan is sitting inside a car on the side of the field with Thailand as the driver so she can record everything. Hong Kong has the two fuses for both sides of fireworks in the field in one hand, a lighter in the other, and a gun with a blank for the starting signal in a gun holster.

Hong Kong spoke to the camera, "Ni Hao, I'm Hong Kong, and this is Hong Kong's Fireworks Obstacle Course."

He lit the two fuses; as both sparks are nearing the fireworks he took out the gun, raised it to the air, and yelled, "On your marks, get set…" when the sparks got close enough to the first set of fireworks he fired the gun, "GO!"

All five runners started running with the fireworks ignited. It wasn't long until fireworks from both sides were shooting at them, Japan was able to catch up with them while evading the fireworks with his ninja reflexes and started to throw the snappers right at their feet.

America was the first to get hit by fireworks, he was screaming in pain from the impact of the fireworks and the little fires that started to show on his clothing.

Prussia was the second to the barrage of fireworks with the same reactions to them and one just flew by the top of his head, he instantly thought, '_Holy *BEEP*, good thing I didn't bring Gilbird with me_.'

England just couldn't get a good footing with Japan throwing snappers at his feet, at one point he fell face first to the ground with fireworks still hitting, which was motivation enough to get him running again.

South Korea was trying to use China as a shield to the fireworks, but China kept escaping from South Korea's grasp.

"Aiya!" China yelled, "I am not a shield you dumb *BEEP*, aru!"

"Please Aniki!" South Korea cried, "I'm too young to die, and everything in the world can't survive without their creator!"

After about two minutes of running and being hit with fireworks, the runners made it to the end of the path shortly after the last of the fireworks had hit them. All five of them were exhausted with slight burns on their clothing and parts of their skin. Japan was also worn out from throwing snappers and dodging fireworks at the same time, but he was okay. Taiwan had exited the car and ran over to them; Hong Kong was able to arrive at the finish after all the fireworks were used up.

Taiwan first went up to Hong Kong, "That was entertaining, right?"

Hong Kong took a few deep breaths and laughed, "Yeah, it sure was."

Taiwan turned to the runners who were all lying on the ground, "You guys alright?"

America replied first, "I can't feel my *BEEP* legs…"

Prussia was second, "Princess harvest, you're a bitch…"

England spoke next, "My bloody head hurts from that face plant…"

South Korea whined, "I take back what I said before, this was NOT my idea…"

China responded, "That's good for your sake Korea, because if it was, I would KILL you right now aru…"

"Now that the running is finished," Hong Kong said while holding a few sparklers, "Japan, Taiwan, Thailand, would all of you care to join me to hold some sparklers?"

The three Asian nations responded at the same time, "Okay!"

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**Note: And I'm done, thanks again to ****Princess harvest**** for the stunt idea, now I have to wait for another suggestion, remember, PM the suggestion to me, don't reveal it in the reviews. As for the prank war of America and Prussia vs. Hungary and Belarus, it's not going to be pretty.**


End file.
